I knew it would end. I knew it wouldn't last. But man.. it felt like I had just left for my road trip and here I am, two weeks later - at home. The experience was an eye-opener in many ways. I realized how much Less I needed to live with, but how much More I needed to live on. I squandered my savings while I made my way across the country, going from almost four grand saved to a measly five hundred stowed away, almost untouched, in my savings account. Taking the trip of a lifetime meant spending what felt like a lifetime of savings.
So here I am.. back at home and rethinking my spending yet again. Saving money is so damn hard. I think back to my beautiful savings account before I started preparing for my trip; before having to buy backpacking gear, new clothes, new shoes, and for what? Surely, I will be using this trove of hiking/camping gear in the future. For now, though.. I'm sitting here wondering how I'm going to pay for life now that I'm back.
You know, when people say the word "millennial," all I can think of are long-haired beauties at music festivals or bearded boy-toys sipping craft beers. What they, and I, apparently don't realize is being a millennial means going without while trying to appear like we have our shit together. I have gas in my car. I have a bit of chicken in my freezer. I have running water and what passes for air-conditioning. I can't complain. Or can I?
You can bet your ass I can.
I got back into reading, like Really reading all the time, in hopes that I would not feel the need to go out as much. I got back into TV shows, started up hiking, and realized how little I could live on food-wise, all in the hopes of not spending as much money. Surely, it has to have worked, right? Not yet. I read an article online about how much money you'd have to save monthly to save up ten thousand dollars in a year. It amounted to $834 each month, tucked away and saved. My mind spun. Eight hundred dollars every month..to get to ten thousand in a year. Okay, sure. I could do that.
In reality, that's so far off of what I know I'm capable of. So I've attempted to settle with $400 a month. My net monthly left-over amount after all of my bills settles just under a grand. Food and gas taken from that, and I've got a good $500 or so that could be filed away. But that's in theory. That's assuming I won't splurge here and there or remember that I have credit cards to pay off. About $800 of credit card debt is what I'm sitting at currently. Paying two rents this month to put a deposit down on the new apartment did not help.
I don't want to bore you with the mind-numbing details of my expenses broken down bit-by-bit, but let's say I have a thousand dollars left over each month. Gas and food bring me down to $800. I put away $400-600 each month. In 1.5-2 years, I'll have saved $10,000. Can I do it? I've had a medical bill for a year that keeps building interest with $6000 left to pay into. If I can't do that, how will I ever save ten thousand dollars with all of my other expenses? Should I just give up and accept the fact that I will forever be a paycheck away from homelessness?
I'm getting a second job. Hopefully, I can work a few hours here and there, save every penny, and climb closer to that 1.5-2yr goal. I'm looking at that time-frame hoping its closer to 1.5 years or less. I don't want to overwork myself and never have any fun; that didn't exactly work out last time. I just ended up working myself into being sick and spending more than I was before because I felt like I 'deserved' to splurge on myself as a reward for working so much. It wasn't working and I gave up. Living in my car allowed me to save a few grand, and I was debating that route again, but I've signed a lease with a friend to have an apartment. I think there, I will feel less stressful about the living arrangements and can focus my stress on money alone.
Yadda yadda money yadda. Life isn't what I thought it'd be. Life was supposed to get better or easier, and I've realized that isn't a thing for us normal folk. We work and we play a little and then we work to make up for playing, until we can't work anymore. Here's to hoping I get a bit more 'play' out of life before that happens. I just wish money wasn't such a terrible monster, eating away at my sanity.
