Week Two and I gotta be honest - I'm not sure I love it here. But it's a job. It's money. It's paying for my future years on the road. Okay, future months* because $17 an hour isn't gonna make me rich. But it's something! And I'm grateful.
Also, I'm making friends! Little baby twenty-somethings that I'm having a hand in raising (mostly joking). They keep me young. They keep up with my drinking and make me take walks on days I would rather stay in bed, adding to my depressive states. They ask me for advice I know I'm not old enough to give with any conviction, but I feel honored to be the one they look up to. Without them, I don't know if I'd stay up here, even with the money and free housing. It just didn't seem like enough my first few days and weeks.
The plan going forward is this: make it to the end of the
season. It's free housing. It's income. It's something more than drinking in
the desert by myself in the hills for a few months and saving zero dollars. It's
more than sitting in a house in Ohio wanting more out of life. It's more than nothing,
so what do I have to complain about? Answer: nothing. It's a job and it'll come
with it's difficulties and nuances and issues, but ITS A JOB. It's money.
My first three days working on my own were fine. The last night was below freezing and there's no heat in the main tent where I stay through the night, but I had a blanket and a small space heater. I had food and a microwave. I had resources. All I did was light a fire in tent 62, drop off water at tent 18, and then watch Netflix for six hours. I made some s'mores. I'm getting paid for THAT. It can't be all that bad. It's a job.
Can you tell I'm trying to convince myself that... its a job?
One of my roommates, Lauren, is leaving in June to hike El Camino in Spain. She's feeling the same as I am here - like it wasn't the best of choices, but here we are. I'm jealous of her but I'm also thinking, Why give up so soon? If I had the option and the body and the dexterity to hike the PCT this year - would I give up Maine and the money to do it just because this place isn't what I hoped for? I didn't have many expectations but 40hrs guaranteed was one of them that I'm not getting. Is that enough to bounce? To go back to paying for things without income coming in? For me - no. No it isn't. And that's enough to stay. I can also pick up more hours during the days, chop kindling, clean some tents. Next year, I'll go back out west and vibe or get another job and then I'll do the PCT. I'm trying Not to lose all of my money without income coming in and this is part of it. It's a job.
But enough about my indecision and desire to bounce - this is one choice I won't run from.
Besides - this weekend wasn't half bad. I spent most of Thursday and Friday sleeping. I had to recoup from my three nights of 14 hour shifts. It's the only way to get almost 40 hours unless I want to work during the days instead of sleeping. On Saturday, there was a volunteering project in town that we were getting paid for. We helped plant 160 trees with a group of arborists and it wasn't bad. I realized that my body is not ready for crouching and, thus, hiking to any high gain in elevation and I'm going to need to do a lot of yoga and stretching because my knees are already feeling like they need replaced and I'm worried my body is trying to give up before I do. If I want to do the PCT without dying, I'm going to need to fix that. My knees still hurt two days later.
Under Canvas team planting Trees
After we planted trees, Liv and I headed to get margaritas because that's all we can really do around here. We drank a little, had dinner and talked about how things are going with the job. Liv is also not Loving the job. This seems to be an umbrella feeling throughout camp - it's lackluster and none of us really enjoy it. But I feel like I can't really complain all that much. Sure, it's not what I expected - but it's also not hard, it feels like free money, and I get to hang out with these fun kids all of the time and do good in New England. I never got to help the environment farther than helping drop off recycling in a job before.
Certified Tree Huggers (Liv & I)
Sunday, I slept in as much as possible and we had a larger group go with us for lunch and margaritas. There was Eduard, Jamie, Lara, Liv, Katie, Nick and me. Much larger. We ate, talked about Columbia with Eduard, Jamie and Lara - they're all called "J1s" which is a college term for coming to America for working opportunities whilst still taking classes when you return. We then walked back home and hung out watching the Celtics (basketball, for those like me who know nothing of sports) game, drinking and talking about random things. Eventually, it became all of us plus Chloe, Lauren, and Lucy. I even dyed Liv's hair during this. She went to bed immediately after I rinsed her.
Left to right: Nick, Olivia, Katie, Eduard, Lara, Jamie
I went to bed last night feeling full, having all of these people around me from different walks of life, different states and even countries, yet all coming together in some tiny New England coastal town to make a little cash and spend the summer by the ocean. It can't all be bad if these are the nights I'll remember, instead of nights at camp freezing behind a desk with no heat for 14 hours.
Not every week can be a winner, and sometimes you just have to push through the bad ones and the thoughts of a better place elsewhere. It's a job, after all. And this one has a few perks.
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