Never Goes According to Plan

List of terrifying experiences during my cross country road trip the past week alone:

1) on my way out to Roswell: during a traffic jam, the GPS advised of a faster route that would turn 5hrs into 23mins. I, of course, was excited to see it. I turned off at the next exit after spending two hours in bumper to bumper stalls. It was about 11pm. Pitch black. Middle of the New Mexico desert. I turned down the road my GPS recommended and it was bumpy. Bumpy is putting it lightly. The bumpy road turned into a less than maintained historic route 66 with pot holes the size of cows. With a hundred other cars behind me, my brights on Gus, and a silent prayer to whomever might be listening, I started down the holey road at about 6 miles per hour. 

There may have been two sides of that road, but I had to stop, turn, inch around huge holes in the road every four feet. It took me an hour to go maybe two miles. When the road seemed to get to a normal paved moment, it turned worse. It was dark, I was backing up the traffic behind me, but I was in a minivan. I did not have the four feet of undercarriage space beneath my car to know I'd be fine if I just sped up a bit. I had no cell service, so if I got stuck - I was stuck in the middle of the desert waiting for jesus. I didn't even have my radio on, I needed to focus that hard.

Once the road leveled out, I shook at 35mph down the newly paved portion of the old route, just hoping I'd be returned to the highway at the end of the lane. I prayed it would not turn back into an old, ill-kept road again. Thankfully, it did not and I got back to the highway, which I turned off of at the next exit and just sat in the parking lot of a gas station, staring off into the ether, wondering how I made it through. 

2) on my way back from Phoenix: the grand canyon was amazing, but I left to go south before heading back east. The canyon was cold, Phoenix was a nice 75°, and then two hours east of phoenix, back in New Mexico again, the weather took a turn.

The temperature dropped to 23°. It was 1am. The roads hadn't even thought of being salted or plowed yet. This winter storm came out of nowhere. I put my hazards on and got into the right lane, my lights on, my windshield wipers at the highest setting, and just hoped the next exit would be a rest stop or a gas station. But I was 60 miles from the next exit. I was afraid to keep going at 35mph with my hazards on with absolutely no visibility ahead of me, so when I noticed four semis pulled off onto a shoulder waiting for the storm to pass, I opted to join them. 

What I did not realize *again* was that the semis had a few feet of clearance under their bodies to get over the snow. My van has less than a foot, so as soon as I parked, I was stuck. I could not move my van another inch. As if that were not enough to terrify me completely, I heard a snap and a scrape. I thought I'd been hit on the side of the road, but felt no impact. The scraping sound continued. I finally realized my driver's side wiper was missing. The only thing that remained was the arm a wiper would be attached to. I was stuck on the side of the highway, in a foot or more of snow, somewhere in New Mexico, with half a tank of gas and one windshield wiper on the wrong side of the windshield. 

I was screwed. I did not know what to do. So with one bar of service, I dialed AAA. The call was breaking up and I was afraid it would drop. The operator advised me the closest tow truck was 3 hours away and the closest repair shop was another 2 hours from me. The milage meant I would not pay for the first 100 miles but the next let meant a tow would cost me $486. My mind went silent. Could I wait 3hrs to get help? Should I pay the money for a $10 wiper? I began rocking back and forth. I noticed that when I did, Gus rocked with me. As the operator explained the mechanics of a tow, I rocked Gus until I felt leeway. I put the van in drive, reverse, drive again and POPPED out of the shoulder. I made it over the snow bank and was on the highway road again. Fantastic!

The only problem? I was in the middle of a blizzard without a windshield wiper. So I turned my hazards back on, turned the remaining wiper on full blast, and sat on the middle console of my van as I barely pressed the gas peddle with my left foot and attempted to at least get to the next exit with a gas station. Trucks zoomed past me, I'm surprised I didn't cry during any of this ordeal. I kept going for what felt like forever as the wiper arm scraped my driver's side of the windshield and I focused on the passenger side of the windshield. I finally got to an exit with a Shell station and parked. I was in Tucumcari, New Mexico. It was so tiny there were only two main roads, but it did have a few off the freeway hotels. I debated staying at one to decompress and cry, finally. But I waited for sunrise and hoped there was at least an Autozone in the three miles of shops and gas stations.

3) At last! I'd gotten my wipers replaced for $20, my tires inflated and rechecked for free, and breakfast in my tummy at a Kix on 66 restaurant in Tucumcari. Finally, I'd decided I wanted to at least be in a bigger town in case something were to happen again. So I hit the road again headed toward home. About 30 miles down the road, wouldn't you know it - another traffic jam. The GPS gave me an alternate route, but I'd been scorned. I was afraid the road would be potted again. So I stayed in the jam for another hour. I did not move a foot. But I was at the exact spot of one of those u-turn connections, and the GPS said the road ahead was now closed and it gave me a 7hr estimate. I refused to wait that long. So I took the shortcut. I got off at the last exit and started down the beaten path of the detour. What was pavement turned into red mud and snow. I got stuck. No service. No way to get out. My van was slowly sinking into the red mud and slush. Gus was not an off-road vehicle. I rocked my van again, hoping my jostling would get me out again. I could not go forward, so I wrenched my wheel and went in reverse. At first, nothing. Then forward and backward and forward and backward again until POP - I'd started going backwards. 

I inched my way in reverse back to the sketchy paver road, hoping I wouldn't get stuck again. A semi was waiting, the driver noticing that I was rocketing backward out of this tiny red road, and I continued backwards. Finally, I'd hit the pavement again and barely popped out of the past bit of red dirt to get back to the road. I decided absolutely no more detours.

I went back to Tucumcari. I sat in the same Shell parking lot for an hour, debating my next move. Should I go back west to Albuquerque? Should I stay in the small town and regroup? I barely had cell service, my van was in need of a once-over and probably an oil change. I was tired. I realized I had two eggs and a hash brown in the last 48 hours to eat. I hadn't slept. I was done. I just wanted to be safe. North of me were snow storms. South of me was pockety desert. East of me was unknown. So I chose Oklahoma City and turned onto the old state route 54, hoping the next city was close.

Stay tuned for more mishaps! Fingers crossed the road home from OKC is easier. Pray for me 🤣